Cody on his bike.... 2/14/11

Yesterday marked the 21st anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) being signed into law. I feel the benefits of this law on a daily basis....with ramps for Cody's wheelchair, handicap parking and various services. There is still more that can be done to enable those with disabilities life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

 Beyond the legalities for people with disabilities, there is room for  improvement in attitudes toward these extraordinary individuals. As a mother of a child with multiple disabilities, I've seen that most are very kind in regards to my son. Children in particular are typically curious about Cody and his chair. I am more than willing to satisfy their curiosity. They often ask me if he has broken legs. I've made the decision some time ago to not say "cerebral palsy" when asked by young children of what "he has"  because they typically butcher the pronunciation. :) I now say "C.P." because it is much easier to pronounce and I also think it sounds hipper.

Here are a few of the less than desirable attitudes and communications in regards to Cody's disabilities....

When Cody was nearly one, we visited a new church. We went to the information desk and when asked by the pleasant volunteer how old Cody was (to determine his placement during the service) I explained that our miracle son had some significant delays. His developmental age did not match his numerical age. He was not able to sit, crawl, stand, etc.... I took my then seven year old daughter to her class. The kind, grandmotherly volunteer escorted Scott, my husband, and Cody to his nursery class.

Some time later, Scott met me in the sanctuary. I knew something wasn't right; he seemed upset. Halfway through the service he told me what had transpired at the classroom door. After our communication with this gal, she introduced Scott to the classroom teacher and then said, "This is Cody. He has problems."

I'm ashamed to say that for the rest of service I allowed a dark cloud to loom over me. I heard nothing from the pulpit. Scott had to convince me to stay in the service and not make a beeline to Cody's classroom. All I could think was if Cody were to continue to have significant delays in life, I didn't want words such as "problems" to be the identifying adjectives for him.

Another instance was a few years ago when Cody was about eight years old. My parents were visiting us in the beautiful city of Chattanooga. We were enjoying a local tourist attraction. We had met several people that afternoon including a woman and her young son.  As we were leaving, my dad was pushing Cody about ten steps ahead when our new acquaintance walked up beside me and pointed to dad and Cody and asked, "What's wrong with him?" I sarcastically replied, "Who? my dad?" She responded with, "your son." I answered, "absolutely nothing. Are you asking me what is his disability?"  After a few moments, she was on her way.

I'm sure her intentions were good. I know in my lifetime I've said (countless) things to others that did not communicate sensitivity.

 Thirdly, while shopping back-to-school deals at our local mall Cody and I passed a couple of tweenish boys. Boy A looked at Cody and then turned to Boy B and said, "retard." Boys A and B both laughed. I admit that I nearly lost my religion in that moment!! I envisioned myself turning Cody around and running over Boy A with Cody's wheelchair....leaving tire marks.

After I composed myself, I mentioned to Cody what I almost did to which he responded with laughter. He may be non-verbal.....but he is cognitively aware.

As I stated earlier, I believe that most people are well intentioned. There are still many that will continue to mock those that often times can not defend themselves. Handicap "jokes" have become ingrained in daily life and they permeate  the entertainment industry. In recent years it has been a hot topic with politicians as well. I believe if most had the privilege of knowing a person with disabilities and seeing their perseverance, courage, kindness, etc....it would make all the difference. The longer I live the more I realize that we all have "disabilities" ... some are just easily seen.