Perspective

In recent weeks I've had two encounters with women that were humbling, touching, and even humorous. On both occasions I was reminded that perspective is everything.

The first was a week ago with a nurse at our local pediatric hospital. My son Cody had to have dental surgery. He has cerebral palsy with a great deal of spasticity (muscle stiffness). He has been grinding his teeth to such a degree that he cracked several of his molars; the grinding is a result of  his spasticity. It was a simple outpatient procedure. Nevertheless, I slept fitfully the night before. Cody has been hospitalized before for different procedures.  It's never easy to see your child in the hospital for any reason; the vulnerability felt by any parent is always great.

After the procedure, I was allowed into the recovery room.  The room was open with a nurses' station in the center. Small beds lined the wall with one nurse per patient. The beeping and humming sounds of medical equipment filled the room. I felt an immediate sense of uneasiness; it was reminiscent of Cody's early days in the NICU. I made a beeline to Cody's bed. It was about that time that he started out of sedation. I found that my voice was quite shaky. It seemed I was performing my best Katharine Hepburn impersonation when I said, "Hi Honey." He was moaning but still managed to give me a groggy half-smile.

I noticed that Cody still had on his a.f.o.'s (leg braces). I asked the nurse if I could remove them because he can be quite uncomfortable with them while laying down. I noticed that when I mentioned "a.f.o.'s"  the nurse that was caring for the patient in the bed next to Cody looked up at us. As I began removing Cody's shoes and braces the nurse said, "I am familiar with those....we've had them for my son." I asked her how old her son was and she replied, "He passed away four years ago." I felt badly for her...I made a weak (and sincere) apology. Later, she tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I don't want you to feel bad... seeing you and your son, today, was a very good memory for me." We both had tears in our eyes. I don't even know her name. It was such a reminder to enjoy every day as best you can in spite of the challenges.

My second perspective check was on the fourth of July. We were celebrating at our home with extended family. We also had very special guests; our neighbors that live almost a mile on our road. I had never met them before but in recent months had become very acquainted with them. With the devastating tornadoes that broke out on April 27th, 2011....these neighbors (along with many others in our community) loss their beautiful home. They all survived but not without injuries. The wife/mother sustained broken bones and collapsed lung. They shared the harrowing  details of the moments before, during, and following of their home being obliterated  around them.

Cody recovering nicely with his pal, "Bunny."



Our neighbors' home the day after the tornado.

 They had dropped by because they were beginning the process of choosing a house plan to rebuild; they were interested in building a home similar to ours. As I gave them a tour of the house I explained, "please excuse the mess; we have a lot of company right now." She responded with, 'You should see my house. It looks like a tornado hit it." Her husband than said, "God downsized us." I love people with a sense of humor! Surely they will grieve the "things" that they loss and their beautiful home but they have such grace in their circumstances. Less than a mile, there were four deaths in a home that also took a direct hit. The only survivor was an eight year old boy that was found about 1/2 mile from his grandmother's house. Life is fragile and beautiful.